Next month on the 18th I will be officially divorced. I’m so happy to be able to finally cut all legal ties with my worst nightmare. Of course it won’t be over, not for 14 years since we have a child together, and even after she’s 18 there will still be her connecting us to that extent. But I am out and I am trying to rebuild the life that was taken from me. I never imagined that before I’m 30 I would be married and divorced. I never thought that I would lose my child, my job, my school, my possessions, my everything, just to get away from someone that I once loved. It’s hard to know that our entire relationship was built on lies and the second I wanted out he was hellbent on taking away everything I cared about, simply because I no longer cared for him. It’s hard to see the pain my daughter will endure at the hands of someone who is completely heartless. It’s hard to start over from nothing. It’s hard to believe that I could ever love someone again. Hard to trust that it won’t happen next time. But there is no use lurking in the past and denying myself a future. What he did to me is on him. He is the one who is mentally unstable. It’s up to me to create my future, seek therapy for victims of domestic violence, be careful that I never repeat my past, because I can’t go through that again. I want to have a life filled with love, not anger, not regret. What’s done is done and the only thing to do now is get the fuck up and keep going. Years from now I can look back and see how strong I was to leave despite all the obstacles in the way. I can see that I never did anything to hurt him for my own selfish reasons. I only wanted to be free from his prison. And that’s not asking too much.